Immigrants here in UK or any other country, must take some resolutions to live peaceful immigrant life. In 6 months of my experience here in UK, I witnessed few logical differences in the living system, which is totally contradicts our living style back in India.
1) Both parents engage in work, leading to lot of work pressure.Due to different shifts.
2) Working hours in UK is long hours, though you are given a break, you are tend to get more stress than normal 8 hours work which is international guidance.
3) Children born here, are living in the contemporary culture, they are tend to be different than parents used to be back in India.
4) Parents may try hard to teach or preach what they used to be. But it is not logical to give them comparison.
5) There are no relatives or elders to discuss with you and help you.
6) After working so hard, failing to take annual leave break back in home country.
7) Tendency to save too much for next generation.
To have peaceful life, practice to have a mutual understanding, don’t pressure children and expect too much from children, avoid comparison of past life, take long break to home, and attitude to have moderate saving.
I might end up writing a research paper on this. please free to share typical issues you are facing as an immigrant. Feel free to message. Also, if you feel that Police or the Social Workers try to ruin too much into the family, stand up for the right and join hands. “Live for present”.
Parents Vs Children
Basically, cause for punishing children could be happening for two reasons.
1) Punishment for the reason of correcting the child
2) The mental pressure of parents leading to mishandle the child, again this is named as correcting the child.
The second reason quoted above is dangerous, particularly in nuclear family living system. Such parents should learn special skills to handle the children. Whereas in the first case, punishment without harm to the children, making negotiation, convincing them to understand, is good a practice to be followed.
The family living system of east and west becoming similar, specially noticed that parents manhandling the children and the plight of children in the scenarios. But, In general, there is a huge difference in behavior of the children between these two different cultures.
In my opinion, Children who make mistakes if not punished, there are high chances that children might go out of regular living system, and might want to experience too much of freedom and liberty, against the basic ethics as a human being or they might fail to extend the courtesy to the other human being.
Well, I do think that the percentage of children being beaten in Asia/India is less compared to west, because in countries where joint family system exists, there the children have access to the grand parents and most of the time grand parents control such behaviors of parents, whereas in a nuclear family, the mental, social, married life, and economical pressure of parents reflected on children with manhandling, without any moral support of elders/grandparents. Even in India, such incidents have become regular now in the nuclear family.
Coming back to the punishment, In my personal experience, First, I am proud that, I have never hit my 10 years old daughter not even once, secondly during my childhood, my mother punished me for serious mistakes ( Ha ha, I would be happy to share that, but not in public). Third, my school headmaster used to punish me like to knee down, stand outside the classroom with hand risen for hours, beaten with roll pipe in the palm, and pinched around the ears. Always he punished for discipline and for not doing duty as a student.
Hmm, what I want to sum up is that, freedom is a fundamental right, but parents should try all negotiations and techniques to convince and bring in responsibility in the child, it is highly possible they get convinced. But, should never touch the children at any circumstances, before that. take a minute to check whether as a parent/you are incapable of handling the personal stress, pressure, and incapableness of you, which I guess is the core cause for punishing children smacks and slaps.
Ha, Cultural differences, parents work hours, and parents living style can fuel and test your nerves. But Remember .
Keep Calm! Earth is just circling!
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